Unrealistic Expectations

First of all, if you are also on this journey of grief….you are not crazy. I mean we are all a little crazy, but you know what I mean. The ups and the downs, the highs and the lows can make you feel like you are not yourself anymore. And honestly, we are not, we are changing.

I can get really caught up in the process and what I expect that to look like. Not on purpose, it’s how my brain is wired, I suppose.

On my hardest days I repeatedly ask myself “why? why are you still like this? How long will it be this way? how long will my heart ache like this?”.

I dont have the answers. But I do know that we are ALL different and have different ways and expectations of what the loss of a spouse is supposed to look like.

For me, I am trying to read things that are healthy for me, surround myself with people who have my best intention at heart, remove those people that feel “toxic” in this space right now, and lean into Jesus as much as possible.

I recently listen to a podcast that was about the “stages of grief” and how the original study was not for those that were left behind after a death, but for those living with a terminal disease, it was meant to help them process. When i heard this it really helped me take those stages of grief off the table and not try to gauge myself by those.

Also, make sure you are in relation with those that will absolutely speak truth to you. As my amazing step mom does, “Tiffany, it has barely been 3 months. Give yourself grace!”. Love her. Shes right, I get too worked up feeling that I need to have it all together. NOT for others, but for myself. Its how i have always been. I now understand that a lot of that stems from childhood and in dealing with trauma my immediate reaction is “survival”.

I DO NOT WANT TO JUST SURVIVE……I WANT TO THRIVE AND BE FULL OF LOVE AND JOY FOR WHAT’S TO COME!

Commit to 40 days of prayer and get in relation with Jesus. and do not, I repeat, do not compare your journey to anyone else’s or what anyone else expects of you. And if it is yourself you are battling with, like me, say it all out loud, write it down….deal with it!

Much love,

Tiffany Breda AKA Undaunted Gypsy