I have not posted a blog in awhile, not that I haven’t been writing, I have, it’s just been very jumbled and all over the place lately. Everytime i would sit to write a post, nothing would come out. I don’t ever post to just post, it has to come from somewhere, it has been been honest and it has to be truth.

But, this week is Thanksgiving (my absolute favorite holiday, maybe even day, of the year!) and I am really in a place of reflection over the past, almost 6 months. As well as looking a little forward…not as much as I used to! LOL So, I thought I would share things I am grateful for, things that have been helping me heal, things that have brought me joy. My hope is that if you’re grieving the loss of someone close to you, that you will hear my words and know, it isn’t all bad. It isn’t all worthless. It isn’t always hard and painful. There are days, maybe a couple of weeks at a time you can actually breathe. Take stock today with me!

1. My kids, above all. Man, they are rockstars and have carried this as well as I could ever expect. But I think they also know, they don’t HAVE to do any of it alone.
2. Grandbaby on her way anytime now!!! Watching our daughter ( and out SIL) walk through this pregnancy with so much strength and grace, truly a highlight.
3. Multiple of Elijah’s concerts – so good!
4. ALL of our kids pitching in to cook Thanksgiving this year!
5. The best spouses for our kids!
6. My garden – what a sanctuary, and learning experience.
7. The BEST of people in my life.
8. Connecting with old friends who feel like they’ve never left my life.
9. Adventures!!! And so many planned already for the future! Anyone have a Harley I can borrow??
10. The beach!
11. Surprise flowers.
12. Secret elves!
13. Time with Kyler.
14. My job, and everyone involved around that!
15. A meal with the entire team, outdoors, on a beautiful evening!
16. My In-laws, I thought I loved them before…..even more so now!
17. My brother and sister’s-in-laws, including you Christine and David! 😉
18. My Aunts, Lane & Jane, for loving these little girls so much and providing me time to breathe….or clean. LOL
19. Learning to spend time alone, out in public.
20. My home and the national geographic of animals around it, never boring.
21. My Dr. who has known me since I was 18 and was the only that could tell me “Tiffany, you know you are depressed, right?”. Normally I would argue with her, but instead just said “No shit.”
22. Finding a brand new love of fashion, clothing, accessories!
23. The Pink Haus. No more to add to that! LOL
24. Being picked up and escorted out to dance! Something I have missed for a long time! Even bought a new pair of cowboy boots! (who am I???)
25. COMMUNITY! To all of those super gifted friends who have just shown up and helped in their own special way!
26. My absolute new love for cooking, which started a couple of years go. Thanks Jesus for that one!
27. Being super self aware. It’s a gift that I will never take for granted.
28. Quick trips for work, loving those.
29. Learning to not plan too far ahead, one week at a time right now.
30. Special friends who happen to also be bartenders!
31. Glacier National Park, what a special place it will forever hold in my heart.
32. The special people in my life that have helped me so much with the two little girls.

Specifically grief driven:

• Learning to process through what secondary and compound grief means and is. I don’t like it, but I’m thankful I know what it is and aware of how its effecting me.
• Beauty from Ashes widow group.
• God’s promises. Cling to them!
• Learning what Core Drivers are and how they align with who I am and help to start to show a path forward.
• My garden.
• Realizing that the creative process and finding beauty in all things is something that i truly enjoy. Getting back to my roots of taking old things and restoring them.
• Loving on my home and making things pretty.
• Being open and honest. Having the ability to be super vulnerable in this season of life.
• Numerous conversations and encounters that have shown me how Jesus was preparing all of of us for this.
• My kids humor. Lord, help them! lol
• Staying plugged in to SummitTrek!
• Life Coach and dear friend to help me constantly process out loud!! What a gift she is!
• Best friend that sees me, doesn’t judge me, encourages me, send me the words of Jesus almost everyday at the exact right moments. Bless! 😉
• Adventures! Anything to pump my adrenaline!
• Several Books: New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp, Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson, Suffering by Paul David Tripp, Undaunted by Christine Cain
• Learning who I am now.
• Memorializing the beautiful truths of the last few months.
• Going from Anticipation to Expectant.
• Breaking of my bones to recapture my heart.
• My pastors
• Having open and honest conversations with our kids.
• Continuing to talk about Pops!
• I rest the hope of my life in the hands of the creator.
• Going out, having drinks and listening to live music.
• Being still. Quiet. Deep breaths.
• Coming to terms with my grief journey is mine alone and not everyone will understand or process the same. I am going to take as long as needed (grief never goes away, life around it grows) to grieve, heal and love.

I have come to understand that in all I have ever done and will ever do, I WILL find the beauty in it!

PS…Etsy shop coming soon, will start selling downloadable images of our travels! Finding ways to be creative but also help supplement income!

Love always, TB