Grief is ________.

Day 24 – 8:00pm

It changes you.

It can’t help it.

It’s inevitable.

Some in small doses, unknown to the outside. Others in HUGE, shifting, piercing glaciers.

Thoughts you’ve never had or even thought about having.

Unrealistic fears. Where there were zero fears before.

Is it real. It is.

It reminds you just enough to feel like it’s never going away.

Roaring into your mind in the twilight hours.

Wide awake.

Waves crashing onto your chest over and over and over again.

Unable to breathe.

It slows. It exhausts. It fades.

Until sunrise. It’s a new day.

Is this the day you don’t find yourself on the floor screaming, cussing, and in a puddle of tears.

It reminds you every day that you no longer are part of the routine you once cherished.

It’s all changed.

It does allow cracks of brightness.

Joy. From way back when and from now.

Hope arises. But it makes sure so does the guilt.

It feels as though the life of joy you worked so hard for is in the rear view window.

Is it unbecoming everything you were together?

Is it now becoming who you were always meant to be?

Whatever it is, I’m walking through it, all of it. I won’t waste one second of what was or of what is yet to be.

Grief is ____________.

❤️,

Tiffany Breda