In the thick of it

Grief is unexpected, unwanted and unwavering.

I spent the last week in the grief world at level “scorch the earth” pissed. I was angry. I was exhausted. The pain and hurt of missing him and missing “our normal life” was too much some days that it made me physically sick.

And can we talk about the brain fog, in top of brain fog I already had? It’s scary. I actually need my brain at full capacity right now and most days it’s like. Nope.

I knew at the begging of this it was going to be something I hadn’t experienced at this level. But somehow I thought, in Tiffany style, I would be ok.

And I will be, someday. Today I am thankful for little pockets of joy. The kids. The g babies. The visits. The texts that make me laugh. The long phone calls with my favorite people. The night out to just get it all out. And the mariachi band!

This is new for me, sharing whilst still in the middle of it all, I usually wait u til I get to the end. But I don’t see an end right now and I’m hoping my rawness will help someone else.