Homegrown

by Tiffany on June 4, 2025

Posted in Category, Gardening, Nature, Parenting, The Real Stuff - Homelife

After the absolute chaos of my childhood, I wanted my children to know they were loved. When I had children, all I wanted was for them to feel valued. Most of that journey involved me trying to create a safe home for them. It was not just about the actual structure. The home needed to be consistent, loving, truthful, open, and honest. If you ask my husband I was too honest with our kids. lol

Our two oldest kids saw me and knew me pre-mother separation. But it was important to me that i showed them that no matter what, you are going to be ok. I was honest about my journey (age appropriate) as not only did I want to be honest with them, but I also wanted them to see that just because bad things happen, or life gets hard, or grief overtakes, or decisions you made a long time ago can stay with you a very long time, through all of that….there is grace, healing and redemption on the other side.

One of the main things I finally did when they were young was make a promise to myself to get all the help I needed to be the best mom for them I could be. Along with that, though, also came setbacks, relapses, and hard, hard struggles to understand and come to terms with the things that happened to me. A big piece of me wanted to NEVER be my mom, so much so that I went the opposite direction in an extreme way. Our kids called me strict, or better, the helicopter mom. LOL I was so scared that I started parenting out of complete fear. Fear they would end up like me, fear they would be hurt by outside forces, fearful I had no clue what I was doing and would cause them to, in turn, have to go to therapy someday.

That fear spilled over into my work life as well. Everything HAD to be done a certain way or it wasn’t right. Let me rephrase that, everyone else had to do it my way or it was wrong! Through leadership and amazing life coaching, and mostly Jesus, i have been able to overcome that as well, mostly. lol

It showed up a few years ago when I had a dream (such a great thing to do) to start a small garden in our backyard. Setting roots, pun intended. Every single time I smell or eat a homegrown tomato, I think of my Nee-Naw and her garden in the summertimes! I wanted the same experience for my home.

I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make myself start it. I read book after book, googled, plotted, designed, dreamed of what it could be, but fear crept in. I was scared to fail. Scared it wouldn’t be good enough. (Y’all, to be honest…I have killed every single inside plant I’ve had.) But after really working through what my identity truly is, and where my worth comes from, and realizing failure is absolutely part of the process….I started it. I put one plant in the ground. Guess what, it LIVED and it BLOOMED and took off!

Dont beat yourself up over your past, it doesnt belong here. Dont let fear or insecurities stop you from trying. ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. Know that you are absolutely valued and no matter what, you will get to the other side and be as homegrown as you want to be, roots and all!